Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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