How'd it feel making her break her religion?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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