I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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