Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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