I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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