Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
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