That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
