ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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