i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
