I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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