There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Two words: nipple clamps
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