Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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