We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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