You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
