Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
