You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
