I think im going to throw up on grandma
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
