I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
