he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
