ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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