how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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