the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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