We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
