you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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