Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We named our party play list daddy issues
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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