brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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