the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
