I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
