Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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