i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
