Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
