Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
