Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
