That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
