i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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