Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
