just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
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