its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
