No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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