My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
