I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
