can u get pink eye on your cock?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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