Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Randomize
