Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
