whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
