just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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