So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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