Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The power of my boobs compel you
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
