we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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