ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
