I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
