i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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